IS THERE A REASON?

They Say There is a Reason

They say there is a reason,

They say that time will heal,
...
But neither time nor reason,

Will change the way I feel,

For no-one knows the heartache,

That lies behind our smiles,

No-one knows how many times,

We have broken down and cried,

We want to tell you something,

So there won't be any doubt,

You're so wonderful to think of,

But so hard to be without.

Author Unknown

THIS POEM IS MY LIFE.  THIS IS WHAT I EXPERIENCE EVERYDAY!  A LIFE OF MISSING MY PRECIOUS ANGEL AND WANDERING WHY ME.  WHY DO I HAVE TWO HEALTHY KIDS AND MY 3RD CHILD WAS TAKEN FROM ME SO FAST AND SO SUDDEN.

ON SATURDAY JULY 17TH MY FAMILY THROUGH ME A BABY SHOWER FOR OUR LITTLE GIRL THAT WAS DUE SEPTEMBER 1,2010.  I WAS SICK THE WEEK BEFORE WITH A HORRIBLE COLD AND I WAS SLOWLY GETTING OVER IT THAT DAY.  I FELT SOME PRESSURE IN MY BELLY BUT NOTHING THAT DIDN'T SEEM NORMAL FROM MY OTHER CHILDREN.  I PRESSED FORWARD AND LAUGHED AND ENJOYED MY TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS.  SUNDAY JULY 18TH I MADE IT MY "OFFICIAL LAZY DAY"  BEING 100 DEGREES OUTSIDE AND STILL NOT FEELING 100% I REMAINED INSIDE AND WATCHED MOVIES WITH MY HUSBAND AND CHILDREN ALL DAY.  JUSTICE DID NOT KICK THAT MUCH THAT DAY BUT WE HAD JUST WENT TO THE DOCTORS OFFICE THE 2 DAYS BEFORE ON THAT FRIDAY AND HER HEART BEAT WAS STRONG SO THE DOCTOR SENT ME HOME AND TOLD ME TO COME IN THAT MONDAY FOR MY FINAL ULTRASOUND.  SUNDAY HAD PASSED AND IT WAS BACK TO WORK ON MONDAY.  EVEN THOUGH WORK IS NOT MY FAVORITE PLACE TO BE I WAS SO EXCITED ON THIS MONDAY.  WITH THE FINAL ULTRASOUND ON THE SCHEDULE MY HUSBAND GATHERED UP THE CHILDREN AND MET ME AT THE DOCTORS OFFICE.  WE WENT IN TO THE ULTRASOUND ROOM AND THE NURSE STARTED SCANNING MY BELLY.  SHE SCANNED OVER TWICE AND SAID SHE WOULD BE RIGHT BACK.  I LOOKED AT MY HUSBAND IN SHOCK.  I THINK I KNEW BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME.

NEXT THING I KNOW MY DOCTOR WAS IN THE ROOM......HE BENT DOWN AND WHISPERED TO ME WHAT I THOUGHT I KNEW BUT DID NOT WANT TO BELIEVE.  MY PRECIOUS BABY GIRL HAD PASSED.  MY HUSBAND RUSHED THE KIDS TO DAYCARE AND CAME BACK TO BE AT MY SIDE.  AT THIS POINT I COULDN'T FOCUS ON WHAT TO THINK SO WE COULDN'T LET THE KIDS KNOW QUITE YET.  AFTER WE WENT THROUGH ALL THE UPS AND DOWNS WITH THE DOCTOR WE WENT HOME TO MOURN AND WAIT FOR THE NEXT MORNING TO DELIVER OUR ANGEL.  IS THERE A REASON? WHY ME? WHAT DID I DO TO HURT SO MUCH AND HAVE MY CHILD TAKEN FROM ME?  ON JULY 20,2010 OUR PRECIOUS ANGEL JUSTICE ROSE WAS DELIVERED.  A DAY TO REMEMBER AND NEVER FORGET!  MY LOVE MY LIFE MY PRECIOUS BABY GIRL!